I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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