I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
