at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
