it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
