So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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