areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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