why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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