I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize