The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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