Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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