Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
