Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
