Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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