Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
