he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize