I must be too annoying 4 u.
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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