Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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