the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
