WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
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