Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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