So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
