ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
