Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
