their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
