i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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