they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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