You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I pour the whiskey from now on
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
