return my video game
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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