Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
