this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
