I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
