You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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