this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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