So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
