; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
