we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
