help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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