I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
