Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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