i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
