she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
