I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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