Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
