ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
