Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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