If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Panties = found
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
