You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
