Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
