hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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