There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
