He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
