I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
