Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
