Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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