i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
