The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
