Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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