I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
