And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize